Blog: joy

I Left Nebraska Two Years Ago for California

This post was written in en

I Left Nebraska Two Years Ago for California

Picture of Pablo somewhere in California

Some Back Story

Over the years, I reflected on how much I do love Nebraska and what it means to me. I moved away two years ago from my home state of Nebraska to the state of California. I believe it's safe to say that California is home. I've done a lot growing as a person. I am not the same person who was when I left Nebraska. I'm still growing.

Why Leave Nebraska?

Nebraska will forever be home. It was the place that saw me grow up. I got a great public education. It taught me how to say, "Ope!" and how to be a Midwestern Mexican Guy.

It's been in my mind for a while to leave. That, "for a while" thought has been in my mind since I was a kid. At a young age I had all these dreams and ambitions to live in various places throughout the world.

I was very fortune to have visited different places in high school and in university, I got to live in France through study abroad. These experiences solidified my need to venture off more throughout the United States. Traveling abroad since I was a young kid has helped me realize there are so many great things outside of Nebraska. It's funny because I joke around how I've traveled more outside the country than in the country I reside in. I am very fortunate to have lived in Mexico for extended periods of time throughout my life.

Preventing Resentment and Repeating the Mistakes of Others

I've always craved so much more than the simple life back home. I didn't want to feel trapped and become resentful for lack of trying to live in and experiencing new things in new places. I see many of the people who I grew up with and reflect on my own self. I didn't want that lifestyle. So many people who I had wished had left Nebraska for greener pastures didn't leave. I didn't want to be trapped.

Questioning the Environment

I've always questioned my environment. These are the questions:

  • Why don't we have public transportation?
  • Why is it weird to walk on the sidewalk in such a walk-able town?
  • Why are people of afraid of good change?
  • Why don't we think of the needs of young people who will lead the future?

My Lifestyle

Being Nebraska wasn't fitting my lifestyle anymore. I had outgrown the town of 25,000 habitants. Growing up, I never really accepted myself as a person in various degrees. I tolerated myself at best. I was smiling without actually being happy. This façade of being known as, "the guy who always has a smile on his face," was getting old. It was draining me for years. I truly wasn't happy. No one would ever guess that. I lost myself as an individual and I also lost who I wanted to become as individual. Looking at myself in the mirror was not a true reflection of me. I just didn't feel like anything was truly going for me. There are so many things I wish I would have addressed sooner.

Leaving Nebraska was going to happen sooner than later. I had a friend nudge me a few years back to finally do it. I am grateful he nudged me enough that I felt it in my ribs.

California

I'm Happier as a Person

I'm living in California now for two years now. Time flies!

I'm a lot happier here. I'm my more genuine self. I'm still not where I want to be. This is something that I am working on. California is not a perfect place.

I've made a lot more progress here. I'm slowly healing myself. This will take time.


A Moment of Joy: Pride

This post was written in en

Issue Six

Summer 2023

A Moment of Joy: PRIDE

It's about immersing yourself in something new..

Pablo Morales

Happiness is to try new things.

The month of pride is officially over. Actually, it was about six days ago at the time of this writing. We celebrate pride and the LGBT+ community everyday! It's a party everyday.

Believe it or not, I attended my first Pride event. Growing in Nebraska, attending pride was not possible due to events not existing. The state of Nebraska is conservative. Events such as pride were simply not in my face. Luckily, I educated myself. Often times, I would travel outside of the country so it wasn't possible for me to attend. I'll be honest, I didn't even know pride was a thing until a few years ago. Another struggle of mine is not knowing what is happening in Sacramento. Hey, better late than never. Right????

I finally got to attend.

I attended to San Francisco Pride as my first pride festival. I was very excited to be there. Being there was everything I hoped for and so much more. I loved the energy of everything happening around me. People were dancing, singing, cheering, throwing things. People were expressing themselves at 1000%. I believe everyone should do that everyday!

night sky over house
night sky over water
bay bridge at night
night sky over land

I got so many hugs. These hugs were empowering.

I encountered so many moments of joy. I told my friends I loved them. I told strangers, I loved them. I told myself, I loved myself. Every interaction was a moment of joy. I was smiling ear to ear. I was radiating. I hope to feel this way everyday.

I can't wait to attend another Pride event. I want to go to New York City Pride and see what it has to offer. Each event is different.

Celebration

My favorite photo full of joy!

Pride 2023

San Francisco

Queer

Community

California

iceland

I am so happy I asked these individuals to take their photo. They were so beautiful.

This blog postPablo Moralespost was in response to the IndieWeb Carnvial July 2023 by James G. The topic was moments of joy. Thanks James for a great prompt.