Blog: 2023

Alone Time: Solo Adventures

2023-09-04 by Pablo Morales

This post was written in en

When was the last time you did something alone and by yourself outside of your place of living? Do you think about how as a person, it's hard to think about times you are truly by yourself? This has been something that has been on my mind a lot.

Today, I went on a run today and drank a matcha latte at a coffee shop. It was nice just being in my thoughts and I appreciated being with myself and only myself. My mind was saying (or saying to itself?) "This is relaxing!"

This initiated me to start refecting on the activites I've done this year so far. I went through my phone's photo's apps, looked at my check-ins and any other history I had available. hen I started filtering out all things I've done alone and not with people. This is what I was able to recall the things I did or initiated by myself.

Sitting in a Coffee
Going to Noisebridge (San Francisco)
Going swimming in the river
Seeing two films
A few day trips?

I ask myself the following questions: "Am I not having a enough solo time?" or "Am I having a healthy amount of solo time?"

Often times, activites outside of home involve people in my day to day. I am not complaining about having a social circle. I just wondering for myself, "What is a good balance?", between activities that social and alone?

Am I afraid to venture out on my own? Probably? Being at home is comfortable and I feel safe. Does my lack of knowing what is happening in my community add to this? More than likely. Does becoming a home body also play a roll. Yes!

I should address these to make progress.

For those on the web, what is your take on this? Send me a webmention or email?

Expressing Myself through a Manicure

2023-09-02 by Pablo Morales

This post was written in en

Picture of Pablo with his painted nails.

Color Palette

The last few years, I've been learning to express myself more. This seems to be a common theme on my blog. Examples of being expressive are, learning to state my opinion more, being more open to friends and family on how I feel, learning to write better to get my emotions out, etc. It's a healthy way of becoming more comfortable with myself.

It seems silly but let's talk about nail polish. I started wearing nail polish a few years ago. It has always been something that's been on my mind since I was a kid. I remember being exposed to dudes wearing nail polish in the early 2000's on television and on the internet. Whether it was MTV, MySpace, YouTube, I was always fascinated. Listening to Punk was such an influence on me. I also remember walking into Hot Topic and seeing all the different styles of clothing people used to express themselves.

It wasn't until my first year of teaching where I started to use nail polish. Middle school is not an easy place for adolescents. They are trying to find who they are as a person while not stepping away from the "social boundaries" set in place. I remember it was a my first class of the day and the bell hadn't rang yet. I was checking my emails while my students were shuffling into the classroom and I was overhearing a conversation. I noticed that a male student was getting grief from some of the other male students. I stopped what I was doing and slowly made my way to the students and started talking with them. I explained to them that there is nothing wrong with guys wearing nail polish. Many musicians, artists, athletes, scholars, etc., wear nail polish as a form of expression. Many of my students like rap or hip-hop. I had given them examples of artist they know. I told them it's okay to test new ways of expressing yourself and try to be supportive.

I decided to support this student by doing the same and show up to school the next day with nail polish. I had some homework that night.

That interaction had me thinking all sorts of questions during that day:

Should I paint my nails?
What colors should I get?
Where do you even get nail polish?
What am I getting myself into?

After school I started looking at YouTube videos on "how to wear nail polish" or "men wearing nail polish. After some YouTube education, I went to the store and bought a dark blue color polish and the other needed supplies.

It was an empowering moment for me to start out with the first fingernail. This was completely out of my comfort zone. The thing is it's not something out of this world or weird. It was just different for me. I had so many thoughts racing my mind. It felt so good to do something different. You have to embrace new experiences.

I did it not only for myself but to support my student and to let them know that it's super cool to express yourself however. As a teacher, you're not their just to teach them the subject material. I am also playing role as a mentor to support my student.

Where does today's manicure come into play? It's a way to bond with myself and others. It's not something I do often as I'm more spontaneous (or bored at home) and I just do it at home. Why not? Every time I get my nails done I think of my students and how I want them to become who they want to be. I've learned from my students. They teach you many life lessons whether or not they know it.

I Left Nebraska Two Years Ago for California

2023-08-30 by Pablo Morales

This post was written in en

I Left Nebraska Two Years Ago for California

Picture of Pablo somewhere in California

Some Back Story

Over the years, I reflected on how much I do love Nebraska and what it means to me. I moved away two years ago from my home state of Nebraska to the state of California. I believe it's safe to say that California is home. I've done a lot growing as a person. I am not the same person who was when I left Nebraska. I'm still growing.

Why Leave Nebraska?

Nebraska will forever be home. It was the place that saw me grow up. I got a great public education. It taught me how to say, "Ope!" and how to be a Midwestern Mexican Guy.

It's been in my mind for a while to leave. That, "for a while" thought has been in my mind since I was a kid. At a young age I had all these dreams and ambitions to live in various places throughout the world.

I was very fortune to have visited different places in high school and in university, I got to live in France through study abroad. These experiences solidified my need to venture off more throughout the United States. Traveling abroad since I was a young kid has helped me realize there are so many great things outside of Nebraska. It's funny because I joke around how I've traveled more outside the country than in the country I reside in. I am very fortunate to have lived in Mexico for extended periods of time throughout my life.

Preventing Resentment and Repeating the Mistakes of Others

I've always craved so much more than the simple life back home. I didn't want to feel trapped and become resentful for lack of trying to live in and experiencing new things in new places. I see many of the people who I grew up with and reflect on my own self. I didn't want that lifestyle. So many people who I had wished had left Nebraska for greener pastures didn't leave. I didn't want to be trapped.

Questioning the Environment

I've always questioned my environment. These are the questions:

Why don't we have public transportation?
Why is it weird to walk on the sidewalk in such a walk-able town?
Why are people of afraid of good change?
Why don't we think of the needs of young people who will lead the future?

My Lifestyle

Being Nebraska wasn't fitting my lifestyle anymore. I had outgrown the town of 25,000 habitants. Growing up, I never really accepted myself as a person in various degrees. I tolerated myself at best. I was smiling without actually being happy. This façade of being known as, "the guy who always has a smile on his face," was getting old. It was draining me for years. I truly wasn't happy. No one would ever guess that. I lost myself as an individual and I also lost who I wanted to become as individual. Looking at myself in the mirror was not a true reflection of me. I just didn't feel like anything was truly going for me. There are so many things I wish I would have addressed sooner.

Leaving Nebraska was going to happen sooner than later. I had a friend nudge me a few years back to finally do it. I am grateful he nudged me enough that I felt it in my ribs.

California

I'm Happier as a Person

I'm living in California now for two years now. Time flies!

I'm a lot happier here. I'm my more genuine self. I'm still not where I want to be. This is something that I am working on. California is not a perfect place.

I've made a lot more progress here. I'm slowly healing myself. This will take time.

The Natural Garden: Oaxaca - IndieWeb Carnival August 2023

2023-08-22 by Pablo Morales

This post was written in en

This post is in reponse to Mark Sutherland's IndieWeb Carnival August 2023: Gardening

When the word gardening comes to mind, many think of maintaining a small plot of land. I envision, peppers, tomatoes, peaches, or simply a flower garden. This is exactly what I see in my parent's garden back in Nebraska. A garden can mean so many things due to culture, relationships, activism, hobbies, etc.

A garden I think of often is the country side in Oaxaca. I've gone hiking here for many years since I was a kid. Exploring here gives me a sense of reconnecting with my roots. It let's me explore with no limit to what I can find or experience. It helps me be in the moment. This garden to me is infinite.

It's a beautiful place to walk through when everything is green or dry. I really admire the beauty of it. There are so many native plants surrounding me. I see the cactus, the native grasses, the carrizo (giant reed) and any plant offspring that falls on the ground.

There are so many fields of crops as well. Nature and agriculture co-existing. It's weird how well they blend in with each other.

My favorite time to enjoy the garden is sun down. All the colors are breath taking to watch and see how day becomes night. There are fun activities you can do at night time during a hike such as picking azucenas (lilies).

This is the land my ancestors lived on. I've lived on this land as well. I must continue to visit and reconnect with the people before me.

Nature is so beautiful. We must protect it at all costs.

The Sunset

Seeing the sunset was beautiful.

Image without description

Location:: Somewhere on a hike in Oaxaca

Picking Azucenas (Lilies)

Picking azucenas is a common summer activity in Oaxaca where you walk in the country side during sundown. The azucenas will bloom at night instead of closing like many flowers do. The goal is to go around and pick as many azucenas and make it a goal to pick more than your family or friends. It's a good bonding event with people and it's a good bonding activity with nature.

Here is a picture of me showing off my picked azucenas.

Image without description

Activity/Description:: Picking Azucenas (or lilies, in English) in the country side near the mountains.
Location:: Somewhere on a hike in Oaxaca