Blog: family

Learning Rust and what's to come...

This post was written in en

We're 9 days into the New Year of 2022 2023.

These last few years, I haven't been in the right mindset. I've been in a dark place for many, many years. This dark place has hindered me in so many aspects of my life. I don't know who I am anymore. It's been hard to love myself for as long as I remember.

The keyword: Avoiding.

I hope my friends and family understand. I know I have hurt you in some form. I am really sorry.

The past can't be changed. All I can hope is to learn from it and not be stuck in it.

This year I am going to push through to improve myself. The things I want to do are not a deterrent to the problems at hand. I would like them to help guide me into finding clarity. To help point me in the direction of the light. I am finally going to dedicate myself to formally learn a few programming languages and actually understand that missing disconnect/mental block.

I'm going to start with Rust. A language I've been very interested in for many years. A language I've pick up for a while and would just stop out of no where. I hope to finally get some certifications in Google, Amazon Web Services, Artificial intelligence, front-end/back-end development. On top of all this, I'd like to start my Master's in Information Technology in Education.

I know I am capable of great things. I just hope I can acknowledge this.

I promised to build something. It'll happen.

The bigger issues need to be solved through other channels. I also acknowledge this.

I guess I should try to work on my body too.

That is all I got.

-Pablo


Spending Two Weeks at Home

This post was written in en

I've been home since last for over a week.


TrĆØs Loin de ma Maison (Very far from Home)

This post was written in en

Image without description

Intro

These last 5 months have been very exciting. I am very happy that I decided to study abroad in France! During the last few months I did not really think of my life or home back in the United States. I feel that I did that intentionally so I would not get so homesick. Iā€™ll admit, I do not call home that often. I probably worry my mom at all hours since I go at least a week or two without calling her. So far life has gone one. The feeling has been starting to lurk and now it is in full effect! Avoidance

All the methods I have used to not get homesick is finally catching up with me. Lately, all I can think about is my family, friends, all the big and little things we do not realize that make such an impact on our lives. Iā€™ve missed some important dates and I am still going to miss important dates coming up this weekend. Missing Loved ones

Iā€™ve been really missing my family lately. The feeling of your family not being around is starting to get to me. It sucks not having your mom, dad or sisters be there when you are feeling down but what can we do? I know the independence will help me down the road. On the contrary, I know family members, when you are around them 24/7, they tend to get annoying. Honestly, I miss the annoying feeling, seems weird. I would do anything to have even just a little bit of that annoyance. Family is important to me. Sure they will be waiting for me at the airport. The emptiness is really tackling along. sisterā€™s graduation

One of the worst things that is really getting me down at the moment: missing important dates. This weekend is a busy one, my youngest sister, Michelle is graduation high school. I feel bummed out that I cannot be present for graduation. Hopefully she can forgive me! I miss her the most! Just know Michelle, Iā€™ll be thinking of you on your big day and I got you a graduation gift that you will like!! Hopefully there is a live feed or something for me to watch! food

Traveling my whole life, I have never been afraid to try new foods. This is no exception living in Europe! Trying the new foods make me happy but at the same time because I know it will be a while until I get to enjoy them again. When I think of food, all I can think about how much I really miss my momā€™s food! It is not your typical American cuisine, but Mexican cuisine. I miss her delicious home cooked Mexican meals. One of her favorite dishes I truly miss, is mole tamales. I canā€™t wait to be able to stuff my mouth again! So much for losing weight šŸ˜› I am fortunate to have a mom that can not only cook Mexican food but American as well! I really miss eating at small restaurants as well as the big chain restaurants! I am honestly excited to eat at Panera once I make an entrance to Nebraska! familiar sights and feelings

Strasbourg has become my home away from home! I consider myself a resident of this town that took me in to become better at my French. I am happy I picked here instead Paris (dirty and too big of a city) to study. I would say I know this town pretty well. Even though I found my home away from home, nothing ever replaces your actual home that you grew up in! I know my bed is calling me to come back as much as I want to be back in it to sleep on! I miss the squeak spots in the floor. I miss waking up on the weekends and my mom would have food ready to eat, especially after a long night. Take that however you want! I miss Hastings, miss UNK and going shopping in Grand Island. I just miss all familiar sights that I was accustomed all my life! Conclusion

Homesickness has really hit me, I knew it was coming but I didnā€™t expect to avoid it for this long! Iā€™m okay with that! Never have I been so far away from home without family. Living on your own is life, it is now or never to experience it! I know when I get back to the United States, reverse shock culture will hit me (thatā€™s another blog post down the road) flat in the face the minute I get back in Nebraska! I do not regret being away from home, traveling in Europe has been one of the best decisions of my life!